Good gym, real progress — but trusting breakfalling (ukemi) instinctively frustrated me

I've been training Judo for 12 months at a decent gym with good coaches. My osoto-otoshi has improved significantly and I've developed a real understanding of randori. how hip positioning changes everything has been a consistent positive.

The one thing that has genuinely frustrated me: trusting breakfalling (ukemi) instinctively. I've read that this is common in Judo but it's still annoying when you're experiencing it. I've worked around it mostly, but it's the reason this is four stars rather than five. The sport itself is excellent — the frustration is circumstantial.